


The Dog Days of Llanview

by rhombus



Series: OLTL AU Crack-Fics [2]
Category: One Life to Live
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Doggy Style, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhombus/pseuds/rhombus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wizards? In Llanview? Sure. Why not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dog Days of Llanview

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2010. Updating archive.

 

"So," Kyle said, looking down at Oliver's fuzzy chest, and then his own. "Who knew, huh?"

Oliver glanced at him, licking his lips. "Who knew...?"

"That pissing off a wizard could be so disastrous." Kyle scratched at the fur behind his ear.

"Seems plain to me."

"And that wizards are, y'know, _real_."

Oliver sat on his haunches, his tail twitching back and forth restlessly. "Yep. _Weird_."

"You seem very unconcerned about our current predicament."

"Rit'll wear roff. Rime sure."

Kyle couldn't hold back his snicker. "Whudju say?"

"Rit'll wear roff. Wait. My voice... rit's wrong."

" _Ritz_ hilarious!" Kyle howled, his paws holding his stomach as he rolled around on his back.

"Grr... Not funny!" Oliver barked. Literally. "You rand your big mouth. Ralways getting rus rinto trouble."

"Me? _You're_ the one who got all taze-happy on the big, scary wizard."

"Ree ruz threatening roo! Rut ruz rye supposed to do?"

It seemed to Kyle as though Oliver's new little speech impediment got more prominent the more upset he became. Or, maybe it was just any emotion that stirred it up. He'd put it to a test. Because he was bored and there was nothing better to do. And because he loved seeing his guy get all worked up.

"Hey. Ollie." He batted his eyelids at him. "I love you."

"Rye ruv roo too." Oliver shook his head roughly, growling in anger. "Ram it!"

A twinge of guilt snaked through Kyle's chest. Or, at least he hoped it was guilt, and not heartworm.

"I'm sorry."

Oliver sniffed the ground in front of him. "For rut?"

"For pissing off that wizard and getting us turned into dogs."

"Rit's not your fault." Oliver slumped to the ground, a perfect picture of misery, and rested his furry chin on his paws despairingly. And then he began to whimper.

Kyle trotted up to him and, compelled by his inborn nurturing instincts, began to lick the top of Oliver's head. Oliver closed his eyes and made little _ruffing_ sounds to ostensibly show his pleasure.

After a few minutes of careful grooming, Oliver returned the favor, dragging his large tongue across the back of Kyle's neck, making the fur stick up in all directions.

Oliver blinked up at him. "Roo rook kinda cute."

Kyle lifted himself off the ground and strutted in front of a puddle, admiring his shiny brown coat.

"Y'know, you're right. I don't look so bad as a dog. But then, I _always_ look good."

"Rut're roo supposed to be ranyway? Some sorta chiruarua?"

"Nah. I'm a miniature pinscher! The coolest of all dogs."

Oliver joined him by the puddle and looked down, squinching up his big wet nose as he inspected his new face. "Rime... runna rose hot cocoa dogs, right?"

"It's called a St. Bernard, but yeah. That's you all right."

Oliver jutted out his heavy-hanging lower lips in a pout. "This really sucks."

"Hey, at least you're getting better at talking!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. You just did two whole sentences. And what happened to Mr. Cool-Calm-and-Collected from earlier? It'll wear off, right?" He rubbed his face against Oliver's large front leg.

"You're probably right."

"I'm always right."

Oliver rolled his eyes, which was something Kyle had never seen a dog do before. He was impressed.

"What're we supposed to do while we wait?" Oliver asked.

"We could always..." Kyle's tail began to waggle involuntarily. " _You know._ "

"We could always what?"

The tail flipped back and forth, back and forth, with his growing energy.

"Have a little fun? Doggie style?"

He thought Oliver would give him a nasty stare, or even an uncomfortable laugh, but instead he tilted his head, pondering, then finally nodded, his own tail starting to waggle with enthusiasm.

"Roh-kay!" His excitement turned into a sudden growl. "Grr! Stupid voice!"

"Bahahaha!" Kyle yipped, practically bouncing up and down.

 

* * * * *

"Ollie... Ollie... mmm... so good... ohmygod—right there—right— _uuuuhng_ —there! Ah—ah—ah— _AW-RRRROOWWWWW!! AW-RRRROOWWWWW!!_ "

A few moments later, panting and spent, Kyle rolled over from his stomach onto his back and grinned up at Oliver, whose dazed expression was so adorable Kyle just had to angle himself up and lick Oliver's cheek.

"Um, Kyle?" Oliver said, closing his eyes and breathing hard at the contact.

"Yeah?"

He opened his eyes. "You do realize the spell wore off a few hours ago, right?"

"Uh huh. Your point?"

"You're, um, still howling."

"What can I say?" He ran his fingers through Oliver's perfectly coiffed chest hair then bit down lightly on his nipple. "You bring out the animal in me."

 


End file.
